Sunday, August 13, 2017

A Good Sunday

So good to see some of my girls,  2 days of baking and kitchen would take the prize for the messiest
kitchen.  Takes longer to bake, make a mess but like my food the best not ready to stop, pushing and just doing it.    3 loaves of blueberry bread with an addition of cranberries (a friend shared this now favorite recipe,  one loaf shared and other two in freezer if I do not eat one (which I probably will)  A really big chocolate sheet
cake (Jamie's favorite) half of that in the freezer, we enjoyed some, put a candle in Jamie's piece, she took some home and put 4 pieces in the frig for me.


A few flowers from the yard for table.  A simple meal that was so good, seems everyone
weight conscious except this one but then never a problem since I do not eat much and constantly
doing....

Always a list of help I need for computer and now my two youngest granddaughter's are experts
showing me in a minute.   I asked Amelia to show me how to operate new DVD player. she began to show me and grandma replied  " please
write out the instructions."    Oh my what an instructor, she wrote them out with her beautiful
hand writing and then put little papers on the keys I was to use.   Never have had a DVD player
so complicated,  It has been sitting on the table and could not figure out how to use it.


Read that Thai Chi was excellent for your balance, have an old tape and want to use it.   The only
thing is I have always moved fast and remember the exercise you do is almost like slow motion, this will
be good for me if I can discipline myself to do this,  Yoga is slow also and I am learning.

Pleased I can now do 40 minutes of Yoga, after last fall (6 months ago) had to wait to begin again until about 8 weeks ago with 10 minutes and slowly increased. May never will be able to do some poses that were done in
the past but what practiced is helpful.    Do not think once the balance starts going in late 70's
it ever returns to where you were in the past.  I have a chair and several other elevated items for safety to
use as I get up and down off of the floor.   Yoga is so relaxing and good for your body.  Was doing in bed for weeks  and did not like it - love doing it on the floor on my mat.   My son who teaches Yoga in
Thailand has been so helpful in helping me with my practice.   Goal is once more for 1 hour
5 to 7 days a week, first thing in the morning before eating and that is usually between 6am and 8.
I do not answer the phone, do not have caller ID, did at one time and was always checking
I like my answering machine and it does not record the many marketers that call and I dislike.  If phone keeps ringing they hang up.

For all of you young ones, I did not notice any change in balance, walking or strength until about age 78
and seems  over the last soon 5 years all has escalated. 4 falls, nothing broken but surely frightened  me as I recovered and took months for bruises to go away I  finally am almost accepting and realize
the body is not suppose to last forever and be like it was in the past.   So again fortunate there is nothing else
but miss being on the tractor and continual gardening.   A past of being in excellent shape, working in the business world but for 110 lbs did a lot of outside work - loved it.  Now trying to reach that weight again.  Have gained 3 lbs :)

My children tell me I am too  hard on myself, you have to be or you will just give up.  A past of being self sufficient, disciplined, not asking for help, in control of much -- to a fault.  All is changing and it has been and I probably did not notice.
 Not ready to stop totally until I can no longer move.....  My therapist the insurance allows  is so helpful, seems to know me well as he has been visiting for 2 years after each fall :( tells me to please accept what is
happening at this time of life)  I am doing better but not where I want to be and may never be.  I have shared before a problem or a blessing - my mind is not wearing out like the body, seems they are each in a different place and have become aware that my body cannot perform like the mind thinks it can....   He arrives on and off during the year for visits and so helpful with exercise for shoulders, balance, pain from injuries from falls, encouragement and the just plain arthritis.   Wish I could adopt him....

Enough shared and seems like heat has returned and need some rain.

I went to bed early, so tired and then up a few hours later and writing - a bad bad habit.....


Thursday, August 10, 2017

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to My Youngest Girl....

Birthday time
for my Jamie
my youngest.

I look at many pictures
and once again realize
that time has gone by so fast
and continues it seems
at a faster pace.



seems those braces stayed on forever

so tiny you were
born 3 weeks early at 3:00 in the afternoon

Girls changed your clothes many times a day and put ribbons in your hair
(over 40 years ago and I remember well )
Your brother and sisters treated you like you were a doll, they wheeled you around in their doll buggy.
Jimmy putting a helmet on your head and taking you for rides in his go cart.
Seems with the first 3 I was so careful - not with you as a house full of children - but
my sweet girl you survived :)

So many memories the time arrived where
 times of just you and me at the old farmhouse with all of the animals we raised
then you onto  college, graduation  and first job at Vanderbilt as an editor.....
I am so very proud of all of your accomplishments in this busy world
and especially of your two beautiful girls and your Alan, .look forward to seeing you and family soon and making your chocolate sheet cake and for the girls a lemon ice box pie - a busy Saturday doing what I
have always loved to do - but at a slower pace :)

love,  mama

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Love Affair With My Life at the Edge of the Woods

A misty rain
I walk outside looking at an untidy garden
but
it is loved
Everything is growing
and I cannot capture beauty with my camera
in the way I see with my eyes and heart.

This home, garden, woods where I relocated 9 years ago
is loved.
Thoughts surface lately
being realistic
so much to do here, most of the chores I can no longer do,  In the past they were not chores to me or work
loved doing all the maintenance of cutting grass, weeding, picking up limbs, walking in the woods and can do so little at this time.

Healthy, all is well I am told but arthritis and mobility - do not like :)

Thoughts of what younger do
and I cannot do this
if all grows up around me like a jungle
I cannot leave.

Wonderful to have a dream that becomes a reality and then so much changes.   I will just live
among the weeds, over growth and what I see as untidy much of the time
others see differently.
Visitors always sharing how pretty everything looks


Can use a minimum of help as that is all my budget will allow
and thoughts this morning as I walked in the sprinkling rain
I am continuing to change expectations of much in my life....

My cooking that leaves a messy kitchen, piles of books by my chair, many to do list piled
on table and my desk - most just takes longer to take care of
and it really does not matter
just seems I am not the same person as in past years...

Will continue onward
soon another birthday
and so much to be thankful for.

And this one is truly happy....

New image received of my Laurie and family in Cape Cod, oh my so covered up and the shelter on the beach.....
never have seen anything like this:)

Monday, August 7, 2017

Daily

It is raining some every day
cool mornings are a delight
and it feels like Fall.

I like seeing the turkeys every morning
the drive way will be full
and could only catch one this morning
In the process of filling some containers with seeds for turnip greens, lettuce and onions
have missed having a small garden and will try this next Spring.   Some small tomatoes
that come up yearly are green
A dream that never happened was a visit to Italy.
Just finished reading
"A Small Place in Italy" by Eric Newby
my son recommended and it was enjoyed on these rainy days.
Have always loved reading and seems I neglected it for months
so nice to do this daily - once again,

I look at images of Jamie and the girls when they visited the ocean
Amelia, playing her ukulele :)
Caitlin and a friend
Continually being sent pictures
that I look at and smile
with tears in my eyes.

So proud of everyone and time is going by too fast for this ancient one :(

School started today and these girls are the image of their mother.   I see her in them
in so many ways.   May they be like her in all ways as they continue to grow up !

My Jamie's birthday this Thursday and family will spend time with me this weekend.

My son in Thailand received a Christmas gift from Beth that was mailed December lst.
It did arrive but seems it took 8 months.   Also heard Beth, daughter - my Sarah the chef who works in Nantucket will be visiting Jimmy in Thailand - soon.

The thought
what would I do without my computer

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Reading Again

Just finished "Growth of the Soil" by Knut Hamsun
a long book that I thoroughly enjoyed.
On these long past (I hope) hot days would sit for several hours reading...
My son emailed me and said I might enjoy it and Amazon's used books always offers
a good price.

Once again I read "Elizabeth von Arnim - The Solitary Summer."
Love the way she described her flower beds and because of reading once again I had to order
Sweet Peas.  I am struggling to get them to survive with the hot weather.  I want them to survive
with a passion :).
She shares that a garden would be lovely with just this one flower.
and "nature herself is untidy, and in a garden she ought to come first."

Have ordered several others that my son recommended, usually buy used from Amazon.

After reading Nan's post from "Letters from a Hill Farm"  I have ordered "Home Cooking"
by Laurie Colwin.
Vowed to order no more cook books and have decreased the many I had to just a few favorites.

After reading Nan's comments and some of the Author words, I have to have this book as the words she shared are my words.
"Unlike most people who love to to go out "I love to stay at home."
"My idea of happiness is a vacation at home, morning, my coffee and wander outside to view my garden."

I have to confess that I  have always loved to read cook books, at times in the past I would read them like you would a novel,
Page after page for some reason I enjoyed and would always pick up a new idea.
In the past would even take them on the plane to read (now I no longer travel :)

The way I have been for 40 years started at an old farm house, soon to be solo  I remodeled and
a new life began for me and my youngest daughter at that time.   The life I had always yearned for was beginning.
For this one a childhood of living in apartment buildings in Detroit, a marriage with 5 children,
4 I gave birth too and one from his other marriage,  20 years moved quickly with working, many obstacles and then freedom to become me.

Enough shared on this beautiful sunny day.  Gentle breeze blowing, have spent time on screen porch
reading and so nice to enjoy this porch.
With not many cool days have not been able to enjoy this porch for weeks...

I smile
just received instagram photo of my youngest granddaughter, sitting on the sand, looking at the ocean
playing her Ukulele :)

Maybe I should have gone with Jamie....

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Appreciation and the Nightmare

"I think for every human being
being appreciative for daily life
is the key.

Through appreciation for everything
you are able to expand so much as a human being,
with your heart, and spirit and mind"

Sanchez Mora

The nightmare yesterday
not being able to connect to AOL.
it had disappeared....
For 6 hours talked to 6 different people,
many could not understand, 2 hung up on me
and finally with a kind person guiding me
 connected to AOL Gold.
I learn through Google
I have 4 weeks free and then a $3.99 charge per month.
Helper did not share this ?

New site is totally different
and I like things to remain the same
and over my lifetime
nothing remained the same.

So will investigate after a few days
a decision of what I will do.

I do need to not stay on computer so much
but it is very important to me along with my reading.
gardening and camera.

Can do without the television :)

Was pleased with such a horrible day
that I had cooked the day before
so had something to eat

Cabbage with onions, carrots, celery and polish sausage
and my favorite corn bread.

A wonderful cooler morning, in the 60's and to continue for a few days.

Thankful for so much in my life and realize I have to take the stressful events more calmly :)

Friday, July 28, 2017

Successful

Was determined this early morning, so careful with chair and step stool to assist me,  put the phone
close by
I did it.

Was able to do yoga on the mat this morning
it felt so good
have been doing on bed every morning
but love returning to doing it on the floor.
Picked some herbs yesterday
placed in the kitchen
love the scent.



Calling for rain
not a drop so far
hoping it rains
or I will have to water.

First 6 months of this year
not good health months

Arthritus still there
but moving slowly
use cane a lot
and much seems better at the present time.

So thankful
hoping it lasts......

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Peaceful

Early morning
it was 6:00 and Soybean field looks good that early in the morning.
Try to capture image of deer that visit in the evening
but so far unsuccessful.

I sit in my chair
this is where I read, pray, meditate and am reminded  of all I have to be thankful for -  as I look out this window.
Area surrrounded by books and on the right my computer with camera sitting on the desk.
Now television to the left - but rarely turn on....

Bought marinated mozzarella balls with olives at Kroger
so good - just 3 for lunch - a favorite cheese of mine.
Continue to find new and interesting items in this store as they continue to reorganize.

Purchased my Turnip Green seeds, want to find some more inexpensive containers.  A new
"somewhat junk shop" opened near by and may find something there :)

Welcome a little cooler weather
but need rain.


Monday, July 24, 2017

Happiness is

Happiness is opening the big box and finding a color you love and taking cushions to screen porch
take off the old torn ones that I have been covering with a sheet
and find they fit perfectly and look beautiful...

So pleased with new cushions for 50 year old Meadow Craft chair.
I contacted them many times for sale on these cushions and always so expensive, like $200 or more.
No way.

Amazon had the set for $79.   In the past the cushions had been recovered, to do this again and cannot find anyone would be much more then this.   I just kept covering them with material :)

The chair and sofa on screen porches of homes of the past for over 60 years.   Meadow Craft furniture is wonderful, heavy iron pieces
and could not and would not  buy at this time
but wanted new cushions on the quality iron frames.

May buy for sofa, cushions fine but if matched the chair I would feel like I had new
furniture.



Sunday, July 23, 2017

Gift of Green Beans, Yellow Squash and Zuchinni

Friend brought by enough for this one of Green Beans, Yellow Squash and Zuchinni
They are simmering
and googled about herbs in my green beans, said to add Basil and garlic, just did and smells
wonderful. Also small potatoe's my Laurie introduced me too

squash simmering and added a little cheese.  Did fry 3 pieces of bacon to chop on beans and squash,
a real country lunch...  Now wish I had corn bread but do not feel like making
it has been a long day when you get up at 4:30 and a quick trip to local small town.  New York Times is waiting by my chair and afternoon will be reading time.

So welcome is the high 80's early morning but 90's now...

Going  upstairs to storage room for ice cube trays.   So much not growing this year
but I do have herbs and forgot to  freeze them last year.   Chop (after washing) my basil, thyme, dill, rosemary, mint
wash, chop, place in cubes, add water and freeze.   Last Winter had not done and did  not like using herbs from little cans at market

In the past would hang from rafters in shed or attic, no such rafters available in this cottage.  The first
couple of years after moving back to the country did tie some together and hang from  drying rack in the storage room.  Sure smelled nice in that room.   Might still do some that way if energy hangs around.


Have to grow turnip greens and gathering some large containers.   At the store the size of leaves
are huge and I pick when really small (so good)   They can be planted next month :)

It is wonderful to be able to cook and bake some.  Last few years such flares of Sjogrens and arthritis, a couple of falls and times like I am experiencing I do not take for granted.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

The Difference and Waldorf Salad

Mom is up by 5:00 and headed to the market at 8:15, uses the small cell phone to call daughter
and tells her where she is going.  Jamie shares, most still resting and getting up. :)  Quick trip for mom  and the temperature
already a steamy 91 degrees.

Thinking of a Waldorf Salad, have not made in a long time.  Have apples, celery, walnuts, raisins, mayo, yogurt and honey on hand and bought
some purple seedless grapes.


With the heat it will be a salad days.  Bought some sliced turkey and beef pastrami.  Thinking of making a small amount of my pimento cheese, so all set for the long inside hot weekend.   Miss my garden and would love a fresh home grown tomato.

Free coupon for this RX Bar, if you want to gain pounds (would like 5 lbs)  this looks great, lot of calories and good
ingredients - but - loaded with cashews and almonds - which I cannot chew well.   Next trip
may check to see if one without all of these nuts.



Thursday, July 20, 2017

The Way It Is

Near 100 degree days
continues.

First time in a long time baking one of my favorite breads - Zucchini and I think what makes it special
is I add a small can of crushed pineapple.  Posted recipe in the past, I am ashamed I never kept a list
of where so many recipes were posted.


Help promised to arrive at 7:00 did not.  This is the way it is but never in the past.

Inside, but much I want to do outside.  Want to prepare pots for turnip green seeds,
At the market they are such a large size and I like them small.  I do not need to be outside
in this kind of weather - but want too....

I miss my garden :(


An orchid I bought a year ago, tag said Paph.Raisin Pie
Just googled information.  I noticed the unusual bloom when I purchased.  Now hoping it will bloom again.  Doing everything correctly.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Very Hot Outside

Week continues with 100 degree weather.
This morning quick trip to market at 8:00 and home.

Making a Taco Salad, fresh mixed greens, black beans and meat simmering for topping to begin
Sliced tomato, avocado and decided to make the fresh salsa that I made years ago.  At that time I would can several dozen jars, this will keep in frig for a week or two, but will be gone in several days.   Even good to add to my scrambled egg.

Chopped tomato, chili's, onion and green pepper, add a small amount of white vinegar.
No cilantro on hand.   But will be good on top of salad with some good grated cheese.  Do not like the
store bought salsa.   Handed two ripe tomato's this morning :)
So corn chips on hand and do have a store bought red pepper dip.   So this one has something to eat
for today and tomorrow.

I remember when canning at the old farm house, my son would eat a pint jar at one sitting.
He loved this....




Yesterday was the appointment for cortisone shots in shoulders.   I always feel like I am having
poison injected into my body but the pain relief is almost immediate.

Book arrived I bought used on Amazon, a recommendation from my son.   Hot inside days
good for reading, going through piles of papers and a lot of ironing up on the loft.   I always
loved ironing on rainy days and wondering about doing it on these steamy days, but somewhat cool inside with ceiling fans whirling and 2 floor fans.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

What We Are Made Of

All that we are
is a result of what we have thought.

It is founded on our thoughts,
it is made up
our thoughts.

We live in a world of our own making.

Scott Darnell

Early morning I read this and copied

Now I must confess that all of my life this one thought she could do almost anything snd everything.
Now realizing since 80's began there is much I would like to do and now cannot.
But I still try and trying to be wise so I do not injure myself....
Difficult to accept
but it is happening.....


He needed something around him
so yesterday in between showers
found a sale tropical plant at Lowe's.

Would like it to grow really big and give him some shade :)

Friday, July 14, 2017

By the Woods - Looking for Energy

Morning sunflower under bird feeder
Many flowers still not blooming, may be the continual dampness by the woods.
I have yearned for Sweet Peas, ordered seeds, mixture of colors, feeding and watering
and finally a bloom.   Hoping they spread, remember so well the vines in the grandmother's garden.
Once again trying this drink, in the blender early morning, blueberries, strawberries, cherries,
1/2 banana, almond milk, manuka honey and flax seeds.  Just a small amount of each and
half the scoop of Green Vibrance.   Split it between 2 glasses, one for breakfast and the other later
with Ensure.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Heat and Ultra Sound

So hot

Deer in field in front eating the soybeans
When Jamie
was expecting my two youngest granddaughter's she listened to this CD all the time.
When visiting her I heard the music, wonderful and she bought me the CD
Cannot find
want my oldest granddaughter to have for my first  great grandchild a boy due in December
Out of date but Amazon had a few
so bought me another one and sent Jessica one :)

Yesterday and a new Tomato

Yesterday, so much taken care of,
plumber arrived and new faucets installed in kitchen, no more catching water in bottles for Callie
and plants.
Grass man arrived, oh my the lawn looks so nice and one who helps in garden and woods
arrived for 2 hours.   Seems a continual burning pile of limbs that fall from old tree's.
A busy morning and moving very slow.

I was so tired when everyone left by 11:00 and so thankful to have all of this done.

A special blogger friend sent me this book.  She is part of a group study, nothing like that local.
I thank Mary....
I read, underlined and came to the conclusion, I am doing most suggested.  Have not fully
accepted what is going on in this ancient body,  but better then I was.   Therapist, knows me well and he shares, you have always been
very independent, doing everything yourself (miss cutting my grass now 2 years) and that has dramatically changed, please accept you
now need help and a lot you can no longer do like in the past, please move slower and do not fall.   He knows me well.

The Sunday New York Times had an interesting article on being cremated (my choice, ashes
in these gardens)   Titled "The Way I Want To Be Dead"
Jamie's fatherinlaws shared a special tomato, oh my so good
going to do research, not planting anything but if I find seeds will plant next year :)
Indigo Rose - sent for seeds and may experiment and plant a few when they arrive as investigation
tells me I can plant again this month - will see.
Usually tomato's sometimes not that good, but this one - oh my - good.

Hot weather continues and told front field will be sprayed today, hopefully will get rid of
a new type of weed that is invading  the Soybean field.

So many errands today and thinking of someone to go with me.
Never would have considered this a year ago :(

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Warm Day Approaching

So nice to have air conditioner on again and some things we take for granted.
Now faucet continues to leak, washer replaced twice, so now the whole thing replaced
Nothing last like in the past, everything in this cottage is a little over 8 years old and a lot
has been replaced.

Finally grass cut today, new help so good, but mower broke 10 days ago and then he went on
vacation :(

Several friends bring me things from their gardens, when they bake and oh wonderful eggs.
A small amount is enough for two meals for this one.   Will use balance of Swiss Chard and
Kale and a small zucchini in my stir fry.

This morning a fritata with some Swiss Chard and Kale.
Thank you always Anne and Lana.
Time for breakfast
and a new day begins

Need to rest more today then busy yesterday with two 15 year olds helping me, good help
but needed to stay with them on a very hot day....

Monday, July 10, 2017

Waiiting for A/C man

Cooler outside then in this cottage :)
Reminds me of when I remodeled the old farm house 40 years ago.
Between me and the outside were large sheets of plastic, no air but we made it.

3 hours later
it is on - a small battery shut the unit down.   Mail just arrive, the battery for camera arrived and
Arthur the therapist my encourager just pulled in the drive.

Weary, will stop and heat up my spaghetti made yesterday, it was so good.
Purchased at the market last week - pretty good


Image sent to grandma of Caity catching a fish and I smile, she through it back in the water.
Good girl...


enough shared at the moment....

Sunday, July 9, 2017

So Now

Yes now the 14 month old air unit has stopped, was told they were always available, been calling
3 1/2 hours on his cell phone, all fans whirling and have another small one upstairs on the loft
and will soon bring downstairs - only 85 in this cottage and at night will cool some.
I smile and think this is the way for my son in that far away land of Thailand.

Might as well share it all, battery in my 9 month old camera stopped.  I thought it would last
longer at a $45 for the Lithium.   It  is arriving tomorrow, love my camera...

One of my young granddaughter's spent the night with me Friday, arrived early as she had spent
the night with a friend who once lived in her area but now a neighbor of mine,
She really slept a long time but I knew a night with a friend that most likely that had been up
most of the night.   She kept commenting how pretty it was here by the woods and so quiet and peaceful.
Oh how pretty she looked and I almost cried, wasn't yesterday that she and her younger sister's
were tiny, time wish you would slow down;
We had a wonderful time and she shared about her mission trip to Mexico at an orphanage
She had never witnessed this poverty before and realizes more her blessings
and her sister on visits to the
country seems like yesterday..
So life continues through her 80's,  hopefully grass cut tomorrow as the one that does
this has been on vacation.   Still so much I would like to do but cannot risk falling,
but the desire is still there.
Spaghetti today, seemed I was craving it and covered with mushrooms, my basil
and wonderful old cheese I shredded on my meal.
So good..
Theraphist has returned and continually told how good I am doing, now I do not think so
as mobility not like I want but accepting as nothing else I can do