Books by the old Leather Chair

  • Snow In The Summer
  • My Bible
  • The Power of Silence
  • What Comes Next and to Like It
  • Encore Provence
  • A Year in Provence

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Decisions

My two youngest granddaughter's
two weeks ago at grandma's (ME)
will be so nice to be near them

So many checking in and asking about me
and have not been up to sharing all that is going on.

A doctor shared several years ago with just a few aches from arthritis
that I need to get use to it as it would get worse.

Oh how I disliked him and changed to someone else
now I would look at him and say "how true your words were at that time.)

Seems mobility is really bad, cane is not enough and now most of the time walker.

Always been strong and determined at everything.  A full, active, fearless life.

At the moment so many decisions and so much to do, my children helping but cannot move
in with me with their families, work and some not near.   I have some help but want my
family with me, how childish of me.

I said I would never leave this home that was built with love 9 years ago,  A dream, nothing but me and nature and little Callie.  I did everything, no help and enjoyed my life and nature, pushed and pushed, never relaxing and now there is no push left.

Now told I am so healthy but can hardly walk across the room and simplest tasks are difficult and to accept that a wheel chair may be something in the future,
I am ashamed of this body not functioning the way it has in the past, it has been taken care of well
but maybe not resting and pushing and pushing was not a good idea - but it was me.

Yesterday visited an assisted living not far from 2 of my daughter's and young granddaughter's, it is near where I use to live, familiar with the area but at the moment wonder if driving will return.
A beautiful place, but can make no mistake at this decision to be made.   This may be what I truly need as I can have some help in this home but not constant help and encouragment.

It was Heaven being with my girls.   So long story short may relocate and my heart is here
by the woods.   So much to be done, moving, reorganizing, a lot eventually being sold and passed on.

So last night and continuing this early morning I am sick.  Just everything seems over whelming
to the one who never needed help, moved quickly with confidence and seems I have lost her.

Hoping some of me returns when final decision is made,   My son who will arrive soon
and daughter's helping me.

So guess I have not been realistic thinking I could go on forever with writing, camera, gardening
and always moving quickly and able to get on my much loved mat, walk outside with little Callie.

So you age and much happens and now I pray for acceptance, thankfulness and the ability to continue onward
with Peace and joy of memories with a life well lived.

I feel as though I am disappointing everyone
but mostly myself.  So ashamed this is not cancer, lung or other disorders, it is just a body that is wearing out and normal for someone now in her 80's.   Not afraid of death, guess just the process of deterating

So honestly I have shared and hopefully soon new images to post and possibly describe a
new way of life and oh how I have enjoyed the words shared with so many I have never met.

You are all angels.


Friday, November 24, 2017

Another Day

brought downstairs this 3 year old Christmas Cactus.

Red one still on loft is just forming blooms.

Purchased 3 years ago, so tiny and the blooms last a long time.

Beautiful sunny week after Thanksgiving.

Enjoyed my family so much and so many missed in other states and countries.

The girls
love Callie and really spoil her on their visits...

and image shared
given to oldest young granddaughter
grandma
thinks he is a winner...

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Thanksgiving

First time ever
my girl's brought dinner.

My two youngest

so good to have family with me

Continuing onward
trying to find out more information....

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

TWO POSTS THIS DAY

Sharing dreadful gel shot procedure
done  hours ago

a lot of fluid drained off of knee
which added to pain
and shot
not as painful as other procedures I have had in the past

told I responded very well.....

walked back through parking lot with cane in hand
Jamie by my side

told my pain tolerance high

told carry on with life
no restrictions
no elevating or icing
move and rest

will return next 2 weeks to finish shots
a mystery how long pain relief lasts ( conversation with lady in waiting room
said hers lasted 6 months.....and had 2 other times.

thankful it is over

tonight I will sleep
with the dread of this procedure over

knee almost looks normal
where it was twice its normal size

I had read of so many horrible painful tales of this procedure
my girl said
"mama you need to stop doing all this research"



So ever thankful
and thankful to my girl
Jamie - who never lets me down - Bless her
and sleep I must tonight.

thankful for many thoughts going my way....

This Morning

Because you asked :)

Computer working once again
thankful to special son in law and Cheryl at Mouse Calls Computer in Nashville, Tennessee.
Working but it seems slow
but at least I can write once again, look at mail and research what is going on with knee

Appointment at 1:00 for injection of jell and have read way too much about this procedure.
Some it helps and others it does not.   Painful but had bone marrow biopsy 2 years ago
and that is supposed to be the most painful and I survived.

The pain in swollen knee has been horrible, sleepless nights, nauseated, etc.

So will see what today brings.

Thankful my Jamie is arriving this morning after taking her children to school.

The independent one all of her life, doing things her way, always successful it seems now
it is different. 

Guess a part of the last years on this beautiful earth even with a good mind
you need help, help you can depend on and your children have their lives
and it is way it is suppose to be.   Just not the way it was in my past years.

Without being diligent in doing everything I know to do and much thankfulness and prayer
do not know of anything else to do.

If I am not a candidate for knee replacement and pain is unbearable
guess some type of pain medication I will have to take and have not wanted too.

Enough shared, a beautiful sunny morning is arriving, will do the mat and breakfast.

Received this morning from son in Thailand
a walk leading to a special place he goes too.

So beautiful.....




Thursday, November 9, 2017

Wha Else Can Happen

My AOL desk top has disappeared.

It is AOL Gold, have tried to contact and a wait of 20 minutes for them to install and will charge me.

On my blogger site I can write and post but cannot email to family or forward other special items
Guess it will give them a rest....
This happened last year and when paid a sum for a year of AOL all was replaced :(

Knee is so swollen and very sore, called Orthopedic office and told first appointment was next
Tuesday and Jamie will go with me.   Gel solution will be injected, fluid removed and told if
it was to painful to wait until then to go to ER.

Sad and disappointed, nothing like it was for years when I made a call and was immediately able
to go to the doctor's office.   Did not realize how privileged I was at that time.   Now the attorney I relied on for direction for years, the doctors I went to for years
have all passed on or more ancient then this one.

Seems I have become a part of the discarded ones.

So trying to stay off of feet, elevate and ice knee and not a good one to take it easy.

Have heard all kinds of results for the Gel injections, first the fluid will be drawn off of my knee and then 3 shots given, one each week for 3 weeks
and some report their is relief and some so painful they do not finish the injections and some no
relief.

Will try again later to phone AOL to see if they will please give me back my AOL Desktop.

Maybe you can on Google forward emails and what I share
do not know how
and brain and body  just weary from all that is going on.

Hopefully I do not fall between now and Tuesday.

So stupid of me to say this
with a good mind
just never planned on the body going....

Last March
when my son made a visit
"how happy I looked"

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Had to Get Out

Still cool and sprinkling days.
Down the road I travel to the new expanding Market
something new
yogurt so similar to how they make in Italy.   I like the little glass jars with colorful tops.
Bought 2 and will try some in the morning.
Walking down every isle, finding new items, then to post office and my weekly
Pumpkin Latte from Dunkin Donuts, so good.
Home, did not feel like making soup and cooked small section of Salmon purchase
along with mushrooms and BokChoy
Have not seen radishes this small and healthy looking since Spring, did not have glasses to see
where they came from.   I like to slice paper thin and enjoy.
I like to carry an energy bar with me in the car.  Most of them too hard for me to chew
another one buying some suggested "Larabar" purchased a Fruit and Green and a Peanut Butter

Told I am not eating enough with 2 small meals and must add some more during the day
besides the Ensure with Ice Cream :)
Also purchased some ground turkey to make patties for turkey burgers  and ground pork
to make my own sausage using my Sage.   This is an experiment, can mix and freeze and take
out what I need....

Wanted to purchase a turkey breast or small turkey for Thanksgiving and told they were in just had not been put out.
I know the small size goes quickly....